Drinks!
by TheEnderRebel
Summary: Axton want's to drink and hang out. . . why won't anyone hang out?


The Backbuner has an interesting name, like most places on Pandora it's literal name is just the tip of the ice burg of how shit this place really is. You normally put things on the back burner to simmer, or in some cases burn to the point where its charcoal and you just refuse to touch it, you eat whatever you have that doesn't taste like torched Skags. Anyway, the Back Burner was quiet. The _NEW _Pandora that tried to kill everyone _kinda _ended up dying themselves. Karma, right? Things have _settled_ _down _since then, and now the Back Burner is a slightly livelier version of the charcoal corpse it was.

Lilith made plans and plotted the course of everyone in Sanctuary, like a caring mother who can pop people's heads. Mordecai was dealing with the fact he'd been sober for the last week, and withdrawals drove him to feeding Talon chunks of meat with a shaky hand. Brick punched things to find out what sounds they made. Tannis and were. . . _working _one something in private. Moxxi moped behind the bar, tired of selling water to Sir Hammerlock who sat at the bar, reading his notes and thinking to himself a lot, _A LOT _of new names for his Beastiary. The only reason you'd know is because he was thinking out loud about it, _A LOT_. Ellie was stripping parts, and the corpse in the front seat, from a _Bandit Technical _she _Acquired. _Now, this _Rich _cast is missing a large portion of others: The _current _Vault Hunters. Where are they? They're about to crash on in, in five, four-!

The Main Gate to the burner puked up a wave of vomit before two Bandit Technical's came screeching to a halt outside of the gate. The first one to jump off the front vehicle: Axton, the Commando who screamed-.

'HELL YEAH, THAT'S IT! Yet another mission: Completed, by none other,' he pumped his fists in the air, 'than the best!'

Axton's grand entrance was met _zero_ applause. Maya climbed off the back of the Technical with Zer0, while Gaige jumped out of the gunner seat, clutching a clump of machine parts to her chest. Out of the driver's seat of the second Technical climbed Salvador and Krieg jumped off the back. While Axton stood there, disappointed by the reception, he turned to the others.

'Just as lively as we left it.' He joked, he turned and offered his hand to Maya, '_Milady_, care for a drink?'

'Thanks, but I have plans.' She said as she just walked past him.

'That's. . . cool,' He watched as she walked away, then turned to Zer0, 'Zer0, _the deadliest number_, wanna-?'

Zer0 shrugged and disappeared right in front of him, leaving no trace.

'Thanks, ghosting me is fine. . .' He looked around for Zer0, but he gave up and turned to Gaige, 'Gaige, you don't have any plans do you?'

'I DO!' she shrieked, she shoved the armful of parts towards Axton's face, 'See what this is?!'

'. . . The beating heart of some poor machine?' he asked, and she shrilled (weird word, is that a word?) at him.

'YES! I need to work on it, while it still has processing power!' she said as she ran off.

He turned to the other two potential drinking buddies.

'Salvador, shall we?' Axton asked, but Salvador just laughed as just sauntered walked past him.

'I would, but I have some _business _with Marcus.' He said, _very _ominously.

'Right, busy. . . very busy. . .' he then turned to his last option, 'Krieg, do you. . . drink? Can you drink? Can you understand-?'

'PROTEIN!' he shouted, as he twitch-walked past Axton.

'. . . _We all need protein, don't we_. . .' Axton whispered to himself.

He stood there, hands on hips, while he watched everyone got to their hobbies, lifestyle and whatever else they manage to find to do here.

'Hey Axton, if you need a buddy to ingest fluids with, Clap-trap is here for you buddy!' A rusty, square-ish, annoying hunk of scrap offered as he rolled up beside Axton.

Axton stood there calm and collected. . . he then deployed his Sentry turret and walked towards the bar.

'_Sweetie_, shoot _it _if _it _follows me.' He ordered as he _calmly_ made his way to the bar.

'Axton, honey!' Moxxi sang as she walked out from behind the bar to greet him.

'Moxxi, _Garscon!_ Gascon? Gason?_' _Axton debated to himself as Moxxi came around and wrapped her arms around him.

'Been a while, hasn't it?' she said, in her own. . . _seductive _way.

'Well, without you taking care of us,_ keeping us drunk_, it seems like forever.' He said as he wrapped her arms around her, trying not to lower his hands straight to her ass.

'Well, maybe I should _fix_ that~' she sang to him, fishing around in his pockets for his wallet.

'. . . _It's probably a bad time to tell you I dropped it, isn't it?_' he whispered to her as she searched.

'. . . Well, I just implemented a new Friends and Family Discount.' She said as she parted from him and got back behind the bar.

She bent down behind the bar and stood back up with an opened bottle she put on the counter. Axton smiled as he picked up the bottle, he was about to take a sip but as he did he heard a small clink from his drink. He raised the bottle to his ear and rattled it to hear a familiar sound.

'There appears to be a round in my drink.' He said to Moxxi.

'Haven't you heard of a _Gun-Fire _Breakfast?' Moxxi asked.

'I have, and _no_ part of it is actual gunpowder.' Axton rebutted, he raised the bottle to his lips and drank the remainder of whatever liquid was in it.

He set the bottle down on the bar, and he smiled at Moxxi with the round in his teeth as he walked away. Moxxi laughed as he just grabbed the round and loaded it into a spare clip on his belt as he left.

'Alright, go time!' he yelled, as he went to do what he does in his spare time.

'Try this one, a slagged Psycho thought he could take a piece of me, so I got a piece of him.' Axton said, mostly to himself, as he held the chunk of meat out to Talon.

She snatched it from his hand and started to scoff it down.

'Seriously, he _tried _like he _knew _he wasn't gonna make it, but he was having fun doing it. . . I wanna know how you can get like that. L-like I mean, I'm scared of my mortality, sure-totally, but if I just go at it like that than my business outlook would be _far_ different.'

Axton told the predatory bird perched beside him. They both sat on the edge of the top of the unnecessary watch towers, just above Marcus's new store. He would come here sometimes, talk to himself-or Talon- and sometimes spit on Marcus's shop when he got _really _bored.

'Yo, what you doin' with my girl, pendejo?' Mordecai asked as he climbed up the tower behind them.

'Not much, got some Skag bits and a sunset, nice right?' Axton asked, and Mordecai just scoffed at him.

'Look pendejo-.'

'Axton.' Axton interrupted, smugly.

'Pendejo! Just stay away from my little girl.' Mordecai threatened.

'Look, were just talking, _pendejo_._' _Axton rebutted as he got up from the ledge to face him.

'That's what I'm worried about: you are putting ideas in her head.' Mordecai voiced his complaint.

'. . . Wait, what? How bad can I be?! I-I mean I watched her decapitate an asshole from Hyperion, how can I put _worse _things into her head?' Axton argued, but Mordecai just laughed as he walked up and gave Talon a scratch below the beak, '. . . Your leaving again?'

'Yeah, got word some poachers were trafficking some Rakk's for a hunting trip, wanna join?' he offered.

'Yeah, yeah I would but. . . but-'

'You got your sunset, and your Skag bits. . . you need a pet, man-or a woman.' He said to him.

'Yeah, I'll. . . think about that.' He said as Mordecai made his exit, 'I don't think Maya would like it if I took Krieg from her.'

Mordecai laughed as Talon then took to the air, and Axton weakly waved as Mordecai like an ass as he left.

'This ain't a last farewell, is it?' Axton asked as Mordecai began climbing down the tower.

'Don't know, maybe. . . I'll maybe go for that drink next time around.' Mordecai said as he dropped off the edge, leaving Axton alone. . . again.

'Yeah, maybe next time. . .' Axton said, he just sighed and took his seat on the edge.

Axton sat in silence for a few seconds. He sighed, made some noises and spat at the shop below. Having enough, he pulled out an ECHO recorder from his belt.

'Do I still have _The Heavy_ on this?' he asked himself as he started pressing buttons on it.

There was a burst of static from it at first, then a slur of voices and noises before it found an old message and started playing it.

'Axton, the rest of the battalion ships out to Themis tomorrow-.' The message started, and Axton started to panic.

'N-no-no-no! Shut up, Sarah!' he shouted at it.

He pressed all the buttons, shook it, he started hitting it and swore at it, a lot. Giving up he just dropped it on the ground below. There was a cracking sound, and a zapping sound, then out of nowhere Marcus shouted '_dibs_' for it.

'Take it!_ Didn't want it_ _anyway._ . .' he said, that last part to himself.

'Didn't want what?!' Axton turned his head, climbing up behind him was Tina.

'Tiny Tot, what you up to?' he asked her.

'Nothin', just lookin' at the sunset, pretty sweet right?' she asked, she plopped herself beside him and just sat there dangling her feet and hummed to herself.

'. . . Yeah, sure is kid.' Axton told her, he smiled as he looked at her.

Tina was oblivious to it, but Axton cares for her like anyone else on Sanctuary _or _the Backburner does, and considering all that he had, he felt proud to be a bad influence in the little psycho's life, as horrible as that sounded. Axton lost the girl he married, and any chance of kids that he would _want_ to raise, guess this family was the only thing he had left. As much as a joker, idiot, drinker, compulsive liar, and lunatic he was he did want something like a daughter deep, _deep _down. He reached out and ruffled his hand through her scraggly hair.

'Uh, whatcha' doin' dog?' She panicked.

'Hairs a mess kid, should braid or cut it.' He told her.

'Nu-uh, no one touches my d, dude!' she complained as she flailed her arms at him.

'Alright fine. . . wanna get a drink?' he asked.

'YES! Your buying!' Tina said as she jumped down from the tower and raced to Moxxi's bar.

'. . Kids. . .' Axton said, shaking his head, 'Gotta love and hate 'em.'

Axton then jumped from the tower himself and followed after her.


End file.
